When you just can’t explain whats wrong

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Its so annoying i always start my blog posts with ‘so’, its starting to get on my nerves, anyyyyyway

I havent been feeling good just this past day, my friend has been here from the UK which has been lovely but it still doesnt mean my mental health sits on the back burner like ‘hey youre friend is here, we’ll give you some time off’.. obviously most of you know it doesnt work like that

but im not so sure my parents realise that its not like that, i told my mum and dad that i wasnt feeling great this morning and that i felt unworthy and not good enough.. my poor dad bless him said ‘think happy thoughts love’.. awww dad, i said im trying to dad.. hes only trying to help

i just sat there and said i cant really explain it, i dont know how to tell you how im feeling and in some parts of me i dont really want to because its a burden to people, like why would they want to know that i dont want to be here, i dont want to fight anymore and i want to stop trying

i love the fact i can come on here and just blurt all my feelings out and not feel like im burdening anyone, because at the end of the day if you guys dont want to read it or comment, you dont have to.. whereas with my family and friends i feel like they feel obliged to have to give me some advice or replies

im going to go out today, to make myself feel better im hoping that will work because i dont feel like staying in bed watching movies is going to make me feel any better today. but i am going to try and tweet more today and just engage with everyone on twitter, to get out of the reality of the world

love you all xoxox

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