So i lost my friend Joel to suicide this week and as well as mourning his loss, my brain just couldnt process that he wasnt going to come back.. I realized i had so many things i wanted to say, things to ask and conversations i wanted with him. If i had one last chance, … Continue reading What i’d tell you if i had one last chance…
My brother, my best friend, hes hurting right now.. that means im hurting too. He has a problem with drugs and alcohol and he has relapsed a few times and now again.. It fucking hurts me and my family but i know what addiction is like and i know that he cannot help it, its … Continue reading Pain, i’m feeling fire
If you don't understand mental health, if you want to grasp a tiny slither of the excruciating subconscious torture that engulfs a person with a mental health illness, please, slip into the formidable little world that is mental illness. Imagine watching everyone around you succeed, grow and strive in their lives and no matter how … Continue reading The ‘Invisibility Cloak’ Lifted: Please read this if you don’t understand mental health
Lying in bed, i'm small, young. I can't remember how old i was, all i know is that i had forever friends bedding, wallpaper and matching lamps. I have a small window up against my bed with a sill, so the curtains brush my duvet. I sleep with the light on, because im petrified of … Continue reading Psychosis, delusions and hallucinations..
Its so annoying i always start my blog posts with 'so', its starting to get on my nerves, anyyyyyway I havent been feeling good just this past day, my friend has been here from the UK which has been lovely but it still doesnt mean my mental health sits on the back burner like 'hey … Continue reading When you just can’t explain whats wrong
In my head.. I have not been part of the world for the last 72 hours. Probably since about 6 o'clock christmas day. I was sat at the dinner table with all my parents friends, parents sat next to me and my little girl by my side and i just thought 'enough now'. THATS … Continue reading Dissociating: Just another symptom
So i've been scrolling through twitter all day seeing posts about 25 year old Pete Davidson from New York, who took to instagram to tell the world 'he no longer wanted to be on this earth anymore'. The young comedian who has been diagnosed with BPD in the past has been open about his mental … Continue reading Pete Davidson: Regretting Reaching Out?
Someday lets hope that this pain will be useful.. i wanted to put my own views into what Borderline Personality Disorder is and my experiences with each of the symptoms: They say that in order to diagnose someone with BPD, they need to have at least 6 of the 9 popular criteria that come with … Continue reading The 9 traits ‘needed’ for a BPD diagnoses
Get up girl. Wishing i had died in my sleep, realising i didn't so i'd probably lie in bed for another half, maybe an hour, wondering what the hell to do with my day because i don't have a job and i don't have any motivation to leave the house.. then id go to the … Continue reading Borderline Mum: The average day