So i lost my friend Joel to suicide this week and as well as mourning his loss, my brain just couldnt process that he wasnt going to come back.. I realized i had so many things i wanted to say, things to ask and conversations i wanted with him. If i had one last chance, … Continue reading What i’d tell you if i had one last chance…
My brother, my best friend, hes hurting right now.. that means im hurting too. He has a problem with drugs and alcohol and he has relapsed a few times and now again.. It fucking hurts me and my family but i know what addiction is like and i know that he cannot help it, its … Continue reading Pain, i’m feeling fire
When I was in 'crisis' back in April time, the crisis team came out to me and i met someone (lets call him Greg) who really inspired me to use DBT skills to balance out my mental illness. He used different DBT skills with me each day, the first day he would teach me one … Continue reading Have you heard of the 2 Wolves?
Lying in bed, i'm small, young. I can't remember how old i was, all i know is that i had forever friends bedding, wallpaper and matching lamps. I have a small window up against my bed with a sill, so the curtains brush my duvet. I sleep with the light on, because im petrified of … Continue reading Psychosis, delusions and hallucinations..
Its so annoying i always start my blog posts with 'so', its starting to get on my nerves, anyyyyyway I havent been feeling good just this past day, my friend has been here from the UK which has been lovely but it still doesnt mean my mental health sits on the back burner like 'hey … Continue reading When you just can’t explain whats wrong
Last night me and my mum put out a piece of paper and pencil for my little one to make her own christmas list for Santa, shes only young so im not sure she even understands but she was still excitedly sat drawing circles around the page. It got me thinking about my old letters … Continue reading Santa: What the adult me wants
So i've been scrolling through twitter all day seeing posts about 25 year old Pete Davidson from New York, who took to instagram to tell the world 'he no longer wanted to be on this earth anymore'. The young comedian who has been diagnosed with BPD in the past has been open about his mental … Continue reading Pete Davidson: Regretting Reaching Out?
Sometimes i will spend a day in bed, i will stay away from my phone, i wont contact anyone, watch tv all day.. and that to me is self care. But to a lot of other people that's isolating myself, worrying people because they can't get hold of me or worst of all being called … Continue reading ‘Self Care’: Is it harmful?
Get up girl. Wishing i had died in my sleep, realising i didn't so i'd probably lie in bed for another half, maybe an hour, wondering what the hell to do with my day because i don't have a job and i don't have any motivation to leave the house.. then id go to the … Continue reading Borderline Mum: The average day